I need to give up my hope

I need to give up my hope in drawing and anime...
though it hurt this way...
but I don't want to be an otaku...
I don't want be childish anymore!!!
I want learn...learn grown up a little bit...
got an adult feels...

I cant be this childish anymore...
I'm 13 now...until when I need to change?
I regret to love anime and drawing for the first time...
and it turn out like this...
If my hope is an artist or cartoonist...
I don't mind!!!

but...my hope is to be an successful doctor...
how can I be a doctor with an attitude like this...
I need to give up anime and drawing...
and focus on academy...

drawing can be my hobby...
but...I don't want to be an otaku anymore...
I don't want...it hurt...it hurt...
to think this way...but...
I need to change...

to change...
I put down my life for you...
because...I can't stand it...
the way there hurt me!!!
I need to learn to give up a little things...

a little by a little...
it hurt still...
but I can manage with a smile...
yeah...I cant be weak...

I...need...to...give up on...anime...and drawing now...
but I still draw...but I don't want to be an otaku...
I'm late to realize that...
and I regret......

I just don't want to be childish in an anime world...
and I need to be adult to love him...