love me if u do...

love me without fear
trust me without wandering
love me without restrictions
want me without demand
accept me how I am
A LOVE LIKE THAT WILL BE EXTERNAL

简单的爱

''我爱你''

''永远爱你''

可是...

这份爱...我能

不要放弃吗?

不要忘记吗?

它可不可以...永远得存在我心中...

坚持得占领了我心100%的位子...

永远不离开...

''我永远爱你''

这话...能不要伤我的心...

我能承诺吗?

_hurting_

feeling very hurt now...
because of jealousy...I think...
and...of course...
because...I'm useless in my love...
I'm a big failure...
why can't I be someone else...
someone that he knew...

I'm thinking maybe...
I don't get the chance to do my 'plan'
maybe...I have to face the reality now...
but I don't want NOW!!! I'll keeping try my courage
hoping somebody move first...
because...if no one move...then...
''game ruins...you fools...''

it depends...

nobody can help you in love trouble...
they just can be your adviser...

nobody can created a miracle...
it depend who start the move...

nobody can cure the love inside you...
courage is the way if you want to...

nobody know the way to the future...
when it will be a mystery forever...

nobody can help me to think a way...
I will go with a never-end plans...

i wouldn't give up until that day

''why u didn't want to give up...you already know that you two can't be together...''

I said''it not the right time yet...I just waiting for miracle to happen...sometimes...it depends on who to start the move and I won't give up''

I know from the beginning...
start from very seconds I love him...
I know we not meant to be together...
It call faith...
but I want to try to break the rules...
If I don't try...
how I would know...
and I was waiting miracle to happen to...
it silly though...

I want to try to confess my love someday...
at least...I done one of my 'to do-list'
I don't want it to be accept by forcefully...
I just want to tell him every thing...
I want he know how I feel...
even I will be rejected...
I'll take and we can became friends again...

but...if I been accepted...
no...I think it wouldn't be...
I'm just not perfect for him...
it my scene...
but...deep in side...
I would be glad if he do...
from his bottom of his heart..
and no regret...

so...I waiting for future...I won't give up...
not yet...not now...
because...I know that day will happen...
when a miracle pass...

_happy_

today...happen MIRACLE...(maybe)
saw him like 4 times...

the first time when 45 mins recess...
and then...and then...
saw him...don't want to explain so much...
he just beside us only...

the second time when...
we back from 20 mins recess...
saw him run and carrying a small+white bag-pack...
don't know whose...

the third time when it turn out to be evening...
went to do my project...SEJ and GEO...
then...he go upstairs...
so hard-working boy... :D

and the last time is...
ugh...
well...sorry to disappoint you all...
it will keep secret in my heart....
and it will longer stay in there...

~poem~

I'll always be beside you
until the very end
cheering you to be happy always
and being your best friends
I'll smile when saw you smile
and feel all the pain you do
if you cry a single little tear
I'll promise I will follow you

(original created by me)

my un - accomplish things

I would try to move on...
hope our relationship will become better...

I would work harder...
to make myself perfect...

I would pray for you...
give you the strength every day...

I would secretly fall in love with you...
that you wouldn't know until the end...

I would love to say...''HI''
when we first time meet...

so...I would keep on moving...
moving on...
until...we got the chance to face each other...
until...I have a courage to say the word...
until...you will smile shining every day...

emo

lately...
getting myself into an emo world...
very emo in home...
because...everyday cry...
luckily...
didn't go very emo in school...
very happy...
bacause...waiting the right time to see him...

who taught me the emo word?
I think is him...
so...I like following his step...
and when the end...
I need to change...to=> no emo person...

sometimes...feels emo...
but...
not very much :)

i wish i can help you with everything

~I wish I can help you in everything~
~Sometime feel so useless when see you in trouble~
~even its a small matter~

~I care...I want to help you with my last blood dry~

I need to give up my hope

I need to give up my hope in drawing and anime...
though it hurt this way...
but I don't want to be an otaku...
I don't want be childish anymore!!!
I want learn...learn grown up a little bit...
got an adult feels...

I cant be this childish anymore...
I'm 13 now...until when I need to change?
I regret to love anime and drawing for the first time...
and it turn out like this...
If my hope is an artist or cartoonist...
I don't mind!!!

but...my hope is to be an successful doctor...
how can I be a doctor with an attitude like this...
I need to give up anime and drawing...
and focus on academy...

drawing can be my hobby...
but...I don't want to be an otaku anymore...
I don't want...it hurt...it hurt...
to think this way...but...
I need to change...

to change...
I put down my life for you...
because...I can't stand it...
the way there hurt me!!!
I need to learn to give up a little things...

a little by a little...
it hurt still...
but I can manage with a smile...
yeah...I cant be weak...

I...need...to...give up on...anime...and drawing now...
but I still draw...but I don't want to be an otaku...
I'm late to realize that...
and I regret......

I just don't want to be childish in an anime world...
and I need to be adult to love him...

slight of smile

你.......
带来给我的笑容...
带来了每一天的期望...
给了我一丝爱你的愿望...
每一天想念你的感觉...
希望你会回头看一看这份爱...

爱上了你的感觉
把我的心一天比一天跳得快...
让我一天比一天的想念你...
让我一天比一天更要看见你...
要与你 ''做电''

如,有一天我再没有这种...
疯狂的感觉...那时的我已经准备...

准备...放下了你...让你去飞...
找你的幸福...

但,我也会永远的祝福你...
和记得我所爱过的感觉...
和痛苦的失望... :)

hahaha...

tO: my EnEmIEs...

krIstI...I dEfInAtEly wIll nOt lOsE tO yOU...

a kind of hope

haih~><~

miss him everyday...
love him everyday...

if can really want to talk to him...
but i don't want he has a crush with me...
because...
I'm not prefect...he still can find a lot of girls outside...
so...I just want to be his company only...
or his adviser...hehe

still...I love him secret....
that feeling cant stop me...hehe
I think it weird...but it better that way...

because...
he will never know who is me...
never know I love him...
never know that I care about him...

it better for him...but...........
it is hurting my heart every time...
but I just want him to be happy with his lover...
and yet,secretly...I hope he know...

but...for his life...its better don't let him know :)

~love~

Loves feel good,

But sometimes its hurting us,

Sometimes we feel in hapiness of love,

Sometimes we feel in sadness of love.

Sometimes we feel happy,

Sometimes we feel sad,

That why we must strong,

To protect us from sadness.

Sometimes our heart hurt,

But its will be cool in a minute,

But if you always thinking of love that hurt you,

You will never happy.

So don't let your love,

In another girl hands,

Just let you love,

By your sides.

pieces of heart

something happen in a short 2 days...

first...get a quarrel with my best friend because of him...
haih~I wish...it done...NOT HAPPEN!!! it really stupid!!!

second...when we quarrel...got some few words that really hurt my feeling...
(><)

third...when a plan is not incomplete then it mean it not done...
my friends can't meet me...haih~really disappoint...you know...when you're excited about it...then it happen...feel like want to cry...

fourth...he and his sister quarrel...she(his sister)regret that has a brother like him...
Is he really that bad and quiet at home?
''home is a hell to him''

MY HEARTH BREAK TO PIECES NOW...

today is the day

today is the day that I will back to hometown
with a heart of full of joy,hope and miracle...

the feeling that can't be describe...
that how excited I am...

it will be great to saw my friends again...
It been awhile seen we had met...

so happy....
wait for me....I'll COMING

to love is nothing

to be loved is something

To love and be loved is EVERYTHING

quotes

~sometimes people runs away just to see if anyone cares enough to follow~

big apology for U

everday at FACEBOOK...
we chat...even he don't know me very well...
but it feels like we had been friends for ages...
he is easy to be friends with...

many topic we talk...
sometimes...
my mouth accident say words that hurt him...
SORRY!!!
I can't control it...

I give him my blog address...
he give me his(although I known it already because I stalk him...but I act nothing)
SORRY for that too...

sometimes...
I said some-not-very-pleasent-words-to-hear
because I want to act like you guys..
to became more cooler...but I know I don't want to...
SORRY!!!because I hide it from you...

I lied to you...SORRY for that too...

I done many not-good things to you
because I want you...need you and love you...
I'm telling white lie...
and now...I regret...because I feel like I'm totally selfish...

and sorry because I didn't give you my real blog address...
It better for you don't know I LOVE U...

~sorry again~

~cherish my life~

MISS MY OLD FRIENDS!!!

doki~doki~
my heart is beating very fast...
extremely HAPPY...
:D :D :D

doki~doki~
that sounds of my heart...
I FALL IN YOUR SMILE

poem of love

I write your name on a piece of paper,

But accidently I threw it away.

I write your name on my hand,

But it washed away.

I wrote your name on the sand,

But the waves whispered it away.

I wrote your name on my heart,

Forever it will stay.

'',he so adorable

he cute...when he smile...
he adorable...when he talk...
he funny...all the time...

that just his front life...
his back life sound like this...

he think negative when he was sad...
he always sad when he feels bad...
he grew fake smile to live...
and try to happy and live with hope...

he the bright water in my life...
he cry...I sad...
he laugh...I happy...

sometimes...
he just want what he does...

I wish I can talk to him...
even I everday saw him...BUT...
I don't have the courage...><

wish we known better...
I don't want it be so high...
just a simple chit-chat is ok...and be his good friend...

although I love him secretly...
but I don't want it to be true...
because...I not match to him...and
I don't want to be hurt....

Besides...I want him to be happy...
and I know...even I try...we can't not be together...
that the history...

CHEER UP...